


your teeth in my neck

by papertulips



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, Really just a vent, mentions of kunikage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:15:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26562007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/papertulips/pseuds/papertulips
Summary: I desire the things that will destroy me in the end.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Kunimi Akira
Comments: 3
Kudos: 37





	your teeth in my neck

**Author's Note:**

> been wanting to write atsukuni for some time and definitely not in this way but something shitty happened to me last night that made me question what kind of love do i crave so now we have this

The makeup Akira applied two days ago somehow always ends up smeared all over Miya Atsumu's sheets.

He sits in a taxi and forgets if he even said the address, but the driver always takes him exactly where he needs to be.

Standing in front of Atsumu's door borders on waiting in front of the gates of hell, indulging in something that will burn his skin, numb his heart and intoxicate his mind, again, and again, and again.

And Atsumu's teeth are sharp when he grins at the sight of the man that always comes back to him, a flame in his eyes, the same one that tells Akira to leave, but he embraces his sins with spread legs.

Atsumu bites his shoulder like he wants to draw blood and he slams his hips against Akira's skin just as if he wants to bruise. It's okay, the way Atsumu ruins him. Akira isn't a piece of art everyone thinks him to be. He is something beyond the void. He sometimes drifts away, so far that he forgets the people, the bills, his black lungs. Then he grips the wall and bangs his head against it to call his mind back to the body.

"Isn't it strange how, when I close my eyes, the world dies."

Atsumu passes the joint to Akira, reddened knuckles bumping together.

"Things exist outside of your own perception. You must be a jerk to think otherwise."

They lie in the bed where all comes to an end, then nothingness consumes him, makes him feel like there's a blunt-edged hole in the shape of dreams and aspirations in Akira's chest.

"But they don't matter to me. So they aren't real."

Akira frowns, but he closes his eyes as smoke curls in his lungs. He wonders what is it like to have everything around him just stop for a moment, to drown in the silence of death, to have nothing matter. He sighs and air burns his throat.

"This is why Sakusa-san doesn't love you."

Atsumu laughs. He never laughs when something is funny, only when it hurts him.

"Nobody loves people like us, Kunimi."

Akira thinks of Tobio, Tobio who used to cup his cheeks and beg him to let himself be loved, Tobio who kissed each fingerprint pressed into his skin after they unraveled each other for hours, sweet, sweet Tobio that dissolved on his tongue like sugar.

"And what is love good for, anyway?"

"Maybe if we loved each other this would be easier."

Atsumu. Atsumu. His sour candy.

Perhaps it's love how Atsumu brings Akira a glass of water every time they sleep together even though he stopped asking for it a long time ago. Maybe he can find it in the way Atsumu chants his name like a prayer into the skin of his neck as he comes, or the way he clings to his body like it's the air that helps him breathe. Or, when Akira lies beneath him, looks up at him with dark eyes and begs, _Fuck me like you hate me_ , Atsumu listens.

Love is when Atsumu's nails dig into Akira's cheeks as he grips his jaw. It's when he leaves his apartment with bruised hips and numbness that he craved so badly. Akira doesn't think love has bloomed in his chest ever as much as it did when Atsumu brought him to his knees, gave him something to believe in for the first time, as he tilted his head back with fingers that tugged on his hair and pressed the tip of his cock to his tongue.

They were made for a different kind of love.


End file.
